I like ganja. I occasionally like other things. I like the numb feeling during. It's bliss - I'm quietly numb, emotionally paralysed.
Samir made me cry yesterday, not intentionally, it was a wake up call. How I had to stop being silly and move on, and be there for Leyla. And that I needed a plan and to go to uni.
I feel better now, but I've realised many things. I need to grow up and stop being selfish. I have to stop Leyla from becoming what I quickly became.
High like a kite maybe, but my heart's in knots. How did any of this happen?
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I get the same numb happy feeling from alcohol. It makes me feel at peace for a moment. Gosh I sound like an alcoholic ;)
ReplyDeleteBut I have to make sure I have a certain amount because too much and I turn into an emotional sensitive person and the reality of my world hits me like a bus.
but I'm good and you sound like you're getting better :)