Tumblr bitches.

Moving on over to tumblr properly now. I've had it for a while, never really use it. But recently I've been neglecting blogger for this, so here we go!  

twigscanfly.tumblr.com 

<3

formspring.me

Ask me whatever you like (: http://formspring.me/hazelbeanyeah

Anonymous said...

i think that's called 'being a slag' my dear. u have a terrible attitude for a young girl. fix up b4 ur social life kills you x I don't think anyone quite understands how much this comment angers me. As first anon comments go, it sucks.

Falling Apart.

I've dropped a shitload of weight pretty damn quick. I just threw up a massive roast dinner (800 calories), and everything is wrong wrong wrong. I feel fat. Ha that's an understatement.

Now it's like instead of hunger I have to feed this hunger with sexual feelings. I fucked a guy called P, and I'm somehow bent on making him my fuckbuddy. I also got carried home and felt up by a random guy, at that party the other night. 

I can feel my ribs tight against my skin, yet I can also feel this stomach I have. Swollen, massive. Full. I can feel my thighs rubbing at the very top. I can feel eyes staring in to the back of my head, everyone watching me. Knowing that I'm making all the wrong moves. 

But then also the thrill of knowing I can make them all attracted to me. Blindingly lustful after me. And I will. 

This is all so wrong.

...

Please don't let anything happen to him. I'm not ready for my grandad to die.

Oh.

I got extraordinarily hammered last night. 6 vodka shots, 10 pints of fosters, and no food since my sandwich at lunchtime the day before that. I was ofc sick. And alco-sick is the worst kind.

Though it's the first time I've been sick so far this year and not induced it. I'm trying to make myself eat now, a 150cal tin of sardines. But I'm worried that I may just throw it away, or throw it up.

I guess I can't stay away from blogger. But I wish I could stay away from myself. I miss Jacob somewhat. I don't know what's going on in my mind, but I don't like the place I'm in.

New directions.

This blog has indeed been a strange one.

It seems as though my passion for writing it has dwindled. I don't know. 

I'm still struggling through this disordered life... I just don't know if I should carry on documenting it.

The blog will be left open, and I will write when the urge comes.

But who knows - maybe this chapter of my life has just ended. Wish me luck.