Thursday, 16 June 2011

Our souls died a long time ago.

Breathe in. Feels your lungs expanding. Feel your ribs get tighter. Feel the air rushing into your body. Pure.

Take a bite. It's only a bite. Only 37 calories in a bite. It's safe.

Feel the euphoria. The paranoia. Lose control. Three hundred calories more. See the cupboard. Grab the crisps. Grab the bread. Grab the chocolate spread. No need for a knife, eat it straight from the jar. You're disgusting.

Your belly expands. Your cheeks fill out. Drink a litre of cola. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. SPIT IT OUT, IT'S NOT DIET. Drink it anyway.

The liquid swills around your stomach. The bread soaks it up. The crisps tickle your throat. You've chocolate around your mouth. You're deluded, crazy.

It's okay the little voice says. You're allowed to eat. You've done so well. For a moment you believe it.

See your reflection, see the mess you've created. Reach for the broken metal. Draw it across over and over. See the red. Feel the warmth. See the stains on your shirt. See the mess you've created.

Know the mess you have become.

Race upstairs. Make yourself heave. We need to. We need to be pure. We need to be empty.

You stupid bitch. Look what you've done.

Don't play the game unless you're prepared to lose. No body comes out sane. We may still be living, but our souls died a long time ago.


  1. all of this is soul destroying.

  2. This post is so sad. I miss your posts. It doesn't sound like you're doing well at all and that is horrible.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs :)


  3. wow.. just wow... i am literally at a loss for words.



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