In The Background

I've been contemplating for a long time whether or not to post. It's always been in the back of my mind.

I'm better now.
I eat now.
I have an amazing daughter and a lovely husband now.
I'm happy. Most of the time.

So why do I want more? 

I crave thin. Every bite I take is calculated. Behind every snack or meal, is a head full of loathing and a need to find an excuse for why I am The Way I Am.

S says that I shouldn't be like this, that I'm grown up now, and that it's selfish.

But three years on, the thoughts are still there. It's a battle, and I don't think I'm strong enough to fight.

Only time will tell.