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Monday 20 June 2011

Bundled into a car.

I have a confession. I'm falling for my boss. My 28 year old boss.

There's a psycho girl at work who has it badly for him, and she chats so much shit it's unreal. ABout how they're an item, always have been. He's tried to tell her otherwise, but she won't listen. It's odd. But her taunting me, her digs, drove me to do something stupid on friday night.

We all went out to the pub after work, and I was drinking a lot. This girl wouldn't stop letting me know I was the outsider, wouldn't stop trying to make me feel small about myself. So I decided to make her jealous by getting the phone number of a guy I knew she'd been making eyes at that night. But I'd had 9 double vodkas, and it didn't go that well. I ended up going home with him.

He was a nutter and tried to give me drugs, and his flatmate turned up. I got sober pretty quick. Somehow I got them to drive to a newsagents, and when we pulled up, I legged it. Just ran.

The funny thing about Croydon at 2am is that there are a lot more nutters about. Two black guys tried to get me into their car.

I got home in a state. I don;t want to go out anymore.
Someone asked if it was my fault, because of what I was wearing. I was wearing bootleg jeans and a hoodie.

This time... it wasn't my fault.

I'm falling apart.

PS I'm having to post comments as anon cause my blogger has fucked up :/

6 comments:

  1. That doesn't sound good :s glad to hear you got away okay and it wouldn't be your fault anyway no matter what you're wearing :) *hugs*
    Take care xx
    PS my blogger has beem being odd with commenting too I have to go through a stupid long route to post as me -__-'

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello,

    My name is Daphna Yeshua-Katz and I am a graduate student in the Department of Telecommunications at Indiana University. I have read your blog and would like to invite you to participate in my study about pro-ana bloggers. I am very interested in learning about your motivations for publishing your blog, as well as the benefits the blog may provide to both you and your readers.

    Ideally, the interview would take place over the phone or via Skype. However, if you don’t feel comfortable with either of these approaches, I would be happy to send my questions to you via email. I can schedule the interview at convenient day and time for you. Whichever method you choose, please know that your identity will be kept anonymous and your answers will stay strictly confidential.


    You are also welcome to ask me any questions about the study at any time. You can contact me by email at dyeshuak@indiana.edu, phone +1- 812-3204517. In the meantime, you can learn more about me here: http://www.indiana.edu/~telecom/people/grads/dyeshuak.shtml. I hope to hear from you soon.


    Best regards,
    Daphna Yeshua-Katz

    P.S. If you know more pro-ana bloggers that would be interested in participating in this study please feel free to forward them this invitation.

    ReplyDelete
  3. sometimes, we need to fall apart so that we can rebuild. better than before.

    love toi hazel, xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. What the hell, that's scary stuff!

    Don't you ever blame yourself, no matter how the heck you were dressed, no girl should blame herself however it happens.

    I'm glad you found a way to get away. Think about this and don't dwell on the bad things. Think about how u got away and are safe now my friend!!

    Do me a favour though, next time you drink so much, make sure u have a real friend with you to make sure nothing happens.

    I've had it happen to me and my friends were too drunk to give a shit and notice. So now we always have someone who is sober enough to prevent us from landing up in shitty situations.

    Stay strong! And loads of love

    Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Woahh, that's scary as! I'm glad it all went well in the end though. Geez.
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. That sort of thing is NEVER your fault! I'm glad you got home ok. That's so scary. <3

    That girl sounds like a pain, but at the same time I suppose you have to feel a little pity for people like that. Her self esteem is obviously in the toilet and the only way she knows how to make herself feel better is by making others feel bad.

    Things have been okay-ish on my end. How about you, aside from your not-so-great night out?

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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