I like it when I'm feeling like the clouds are made of cotton and like the wind is helping me to fly with the breeze. When I see his face and smile and know everything is fine. I'm marrying him soon. Just trying to break the news to my mum somehow. She won't approve. But he makes me happy, like my BMI being near 20 doesn't matter, and the fact that my size 8s don't always fit me doesn't matter when he puts his arms around me and whispers I love you.
Then it switches. I feel like I want to scream, like there's a voice inside that can't get out. My head's yelling at me not to, telling me I'm wrong. I feel
torn.
I feel torn. I know what's right and what's wrong. But the thing is, that choices like these aren't as clear cut as whether or not I need to butter my bread.
It's not as easy as deciding whether or not I'm going to eat today.
I'm tearing
right down
the middle
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Please, please stay happy. Nothing matters. Nothing else. Try. <3
ReplyDeleteI feel like this sometimes and whenever I ask my fiance if I have any flaws he get's mad, and tell's me that nobody on this earth is perfect, but I'm perfect for him, and why do I always ask him this, when I already know the answer.
ReplyDeleteIn the begining of this post, I can tell that you want to be happy, and so do I. But this "voice" will alway's be there, maybe whether we like it or not. The good new's is that we are all here for each other, and I think seeing others going through the same thing helps to make that voice a little quiter.
I always think he could have found a thinner, younger girl. And he could still. Every body has these kinds worry's. Everyone. But at the end of the day, everyone also needs someone to love, and be loved by. And right now, that just happens to be you and him. You dont love a "voice", you love him. So listen to your love, it might help. I hope it does. xxooxox
gahh, what a hard decision. I'm so sorry we can't really help you out, because there is no dividing line. I'll go pocohantas on you: listen to your heart :) lol but seriously, i just want you to have a life you are enjoying and are happy with.
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