Why hello there.

I sincerely apologise for having not posted for such an incredibly long time. I am a shit person to follow.

Jacob dumped me. It's because of the cigarettes, but I can't give up. It's too difficult. And I also think that just maybe, I can't give up. Either way, every day has been harder than the last. To think that I'll never wake up next to him, or kiss him, or be held by him ever again brings me to tears. I did cry yesterday, because I just hate all of this so much.

I also realise just how off the wagon I have well and truly fallen. So as of today I shan't eat any meat, aside from when Mum Julie makes her roast once a week, because I can't ask her to make me something different - she slaves over that stove.

I will buy some scales, new digital scales. And this will start again. I pledge to starve, purge, and take laxatives. Because everything needs to be righted again.