I ate less that 500 calories today. Then my mother ordered chinese and expected me to eat. I ate about 700 calories and I'm guessing that that's more than I was expected to.
I went upstairs, I threw up about 1/3 of it, then I took 12 laxatives. I know this is going to become my new cycle, and I hate it. My nose won't stop running, my eyes are red, my throat is so sore because I can't stop coughing.
But I have to do this.
It's only going to become a new cycle if you give in to those irrational thoughts. I know the feeling. I really do. I'm here for you and I hate when my eyes hurt. I remember that feeling. 12 laxatives is a lot hunny! i hope your okay.
ReplyDeleteyour beautiful <3
You've got this, Hazel. Just keep on pushing and you'll get through it. Cycling sucks, but you can do this... Sorry if that makes no sense, I'm sleep-deprived...
ReplyDeleteStay Strong Sweetie!
Violet
Hazel darling, i understand the feeling of cycling most definitely. I am defintely here for you. You should do something relaxing for yourself that would take your mind off of food for a bit.. or at least distract you from it. Be careful with the laxitives hun, you dont want to screw your body up too much using them like that. Sorry if that is harsh. I really do hope you are okay. Keep holding on. Let yourself smile and enjoy life a little.
ReplyDeleteIm so sorry you feel so awful right now.
Im here for you if you need anything<3
xxo.
Rach