Monday, 4 October 2010


I found an old diary that I used for a couple of months, back when all of this was just a game. I used to love playing the game, figuring out ways to trick people out, to get away with eating as little as possible. Though even then I was pro at making myself feel as shite as possible.

I've started writing in that diary again, just so that I can begin to try to make sense of this all. And I've got an idea about what to do with it when I'm finished too. A couple of months back, when I went up to Falmouth to visit Jess, I left a piece of paper with a secret on it and the URL to my blog on a door in a toilet; I think I might continue doing this, at random places all over the country. Perhaps leaving small packages too. And when my diary is filled, I'm going to leave that somewhere too. With any luck, one of y'all will find it.

I've skipped college again today, I know I shouldn't because my attendance is around 30-40%, but I just can't face it today. At least I know my doctor appointment is at half 5 today. I keep trying to convince myself that this is a good thing.


  1. that's such a cool idea about leaving little things around!! It's so completely anonymous, but personal too. I love it, and I'd love to see one of us find it!! :D

  2. i hope you find it in yourself to get your attendance up. but i understand that sometimes it's not possible. good luck with the doctor, i hope it goes well. stay strong, lovely.

  3. I like that idea with leaving little notes in the bathroom. Imma do it next time I'm in a public loo!
    I found one of my old diaries that I started when I was like 7 years old - I was one screwed up child... Made for an interesting read, tho!


  4. i'd go to england just to look.
    go when you are ready. even for a half day in the beginning.

    love yooooh.
    ps - hope appt went smoothly.

  5. I found all my food diaries from over the years, it's weird to see some of the food I used to eat ie rice with butter and grated cheese.

    I like the idea of leaving little things around, my friend and I in high school used to leave motivational quotes in people's bags.



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