Thursday, 14 October 2010

Today I am angry. I am an angry snake, ready to lash out at anything that gets too close. I have spent the day crying, because everything is just too hard.

I have run out of clean clothes for college, and today was confined to the 6th form room because my dress was an inch too short. The other girls wear shorter clothes than me. The other girls have many many clothes which they can wear. But I am punished, because I deserve it. I am punished because I do not have enough clothes, and because I cannot afford detergent to wash my clothes, and because even if I did have detergent I don’t know how to operate the washing machine in my new place.

This is horrible. And I just don’t want to do any of it. Hopefully today I will find out whether or not the council can pay my rent. If they can’t, then I suppose I’m screwed. I suppose I’m screwed either way – I don’t have enough money to pay for my retake exams. The money is due in tomorrow.


I used to be a delicate flower, but now my stem has been cut.
They used to call me a butterfly, but now I fly broken like a moth.
I once was a role model, the one to look up to, but now quite simply, I’m not.
I used to dread falling asleep, but now I dread waking up.


  1. everything works out in the end.

  2. that sounds really unfair - you do NOT deserve punishment. you are worth everything and more...please believe it.
    stay strong xx

  3. Oh babe. You are beautiful. I wish you could see yourself the way that we see you! You deserve to be happy and loved. Hang in there.


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