Ring ring, the telephone goes. I won't answer it because I know
what's waiting for me on the end of the line.
My partner is looking for excuses not to be mine.
Waves wash through and cause decay, when did my emotions
become this way? I'm devoid of everything. Can't feel a thing.
All I know is that something is missing.
But there are no metal hangers at this new house,
and the prospect of knives scares me to hell.
What is this that I've become? A trickster of my own right.
Painting a picture for all to see.
On facebook I put the older fatter pictures of me
But don't say a word, or else they'll all know.
The Hazel they know died a long time ago.
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This is so confusingly beautiful and sad.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're alright <3
And I noticed the FB piccys weren't recent. We know. And if they don't then pehaps they are blind to the world outside of their microcasm.
ReplyDeleteas much as you try and fool the world, your only deceiving yourself.
if you want to know who I am, I'm a lot closer than you think. I am real, I am here.
Be strong. Anon. xoxo
I hope you are ok. Your writing is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAnon, who are you? Please, this is something I need to know. Right now a lot is hanging in the balance. If you're the wrong person then I need to delete this outlet. That's my fear.
ReplyDeleteAnon please tell me who you are. Maybe if I know, then I can have a real person to talk to once in a while.
Please, this is soul destroying.
Anon, I think it would really help to be forthcoming about who you are and how you feel. That makes this all more real and probably more helpful. Remember, you are not here to accuse or assume, but to help and to be honest. I think that is a beautiful thing, that you can point out how concerned people really are, while "we" all think that we are getting away with everything. It shows that people notice and care. And it shows how much this way of life can affect others around us. That is so important.
ReplyDeleteI just dont wanna bait myself out , you need this outlet and I dont think I'm person to make you have to delete it. But just incase. I am a girl, same ages as you (nearly birthday girl in a week and bit ;p )
ReplyDeleteI hope I'm not the wrong person. I'm a long lost old friend. Just come knocking at my door, I'm a lot closer than you think :)
Anon xoxo
If you dont knock at my house anytime soon, then I'll come knock at yours if you still live in the same place in Heath?
Anon, I know there are people who can relate to what you're struggling with and who can help. I know because we went through it with my sister. Now she is counselor of this kind of thing and is much better off.
ReplyDeleteYou write amazingly! Such beautiful verse. Thank you SO much for sharing.
ReplyDelete