Anon please just reveal your name, I can't keep doing this! Tell me who you are and I'll come to you, but you can't come to me because I don't live in the same place anymore. I moved to near the Tescos in Heath.
I purged yesterday. Leyla was downstairs with my mum, and my mum's fiance. It's like I've taken a million steps backwards. But secretly I'm thrilled. Secretly knowing what I'm doing to myself makes adrenalin rush through my body.
Physically I'm not ill. Mentally I'm not ill.
Maybe if I repeat those enough they'll come true. Now 9 stone 4lbs.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
My blog.
ReplyDeletemusicsavesyoursoul.tumblr.com
ReplyDeleteI guess you figured out who Anon is by now, based on the above comments. But I was going to suggest what if it is your own little sister or something?
ReplyDeleteRegardless, that thought spoke to me a bit. I know I wouldn't want my little sister to see my old blogs that are about this same stuff.
But I hope you are okay, whatever okay means. Your story has just sucked me in . . . I wish you the best.
Ah, P.S.:
ReplyDeleteI just saw your comment on my blog asking about yoga. I have done yoga for years, but until I found kundalini yoga, I didn't feel like it perfectly fit my lifestyle. Check out raviana.com. It's my 2 favorite yogis' (who happen to be married) joint website. "The Yoga & Health Archive A-Z" link might interest you.
But I say this: buy ONE of their DVDs. Any one. You can buy them on Amazon or from their website. I think you will like it. My favorite right now is "The Body Electric" one. It's a newer one and actually has awesome music that they have a DJ mix for them and great filming, unlike so many yoga DVDs.
One of my old faves of theirs is called "Yoga Beauty Body."
Sure, I could give you way more tips about getting into yoga, but I think if you buy one of their DVDs and watch it (you don't even have to do it the first time, but for me it's hard NOT to jump in and join) . . . I think you will see why I am so into it.
Man, that sounded like a cult weirdo religious rave thing or something. But I just love it. :)
I hope you find out this person. It sounds like it would help you out a lot.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about purging, lately I've been in a crappy place and for some reason purging just helps- until after you realize what you done so you feel bad again afterwards. Like you said, people need to open up their eyes. I'm not exactly defined by my ED, but my ED is a part of me and will always remain a part of me. Their is a safe way, otherwise every single person who has an ED would be dead.
For the record I'm not her little sister, just a really old friend who lives in local area! I'm 18 hahaha
ReplyDeleteI guess the reason I was posting as anon, as I'm socially awkward and don't fair to well talking about ED's etc face to face. At least on here you can think about what you want to say, say what you want openly and honestly with no one judging you. I like that, sometimes the people around you just don't know how to handle talking about certian things, but people on here generally seem really supportive.
Marcelle, please don't tell anyone about this blog. ANYONE. If you ever did, I'd have to delete it.
ReplyDeleteHazel, you know I wouldn't, I ain't like that. I only found this by chance when I found your tumblr, I couldnt just ignore it.
ReplyDelete