Saturday, 15 May 2010

Surprise Surpise (:

I never went to see Prince, I just couldn't. Even the thought of it just sent shivers down my spine and made me want to scream. Y'see, when I went to the funeral it was open casket - I saw his face and it wasn't his. That's part of the way in which I remember him. I remember him lying in the coffin, and I don't want to remember him like that, imagining him under the ground. Not being able to get up. Not being able to get out. Screaming. Life in death.

I can't go. I just can't.

Tralalalalala. On a more painful note (like that's possible), please NEVER take four times the stated dose for laxatives, especially when you've been taking twice the recommened amount for longer than the recommended period of time. Last night I crawled from my bed to the toilet, and passed out about 3 times along the way. I passed out just before getting to the toilet, and I passed out on the toilet. I had stabbing pains along my diaphragm and I couldn't breathe.

I went to my mum. Crawled down the stairs somehow and told her I couldn't breathe, that something was wrong. She told me it was cause of the shite I've been eating, and my stomach was rejecting it. My stomach was rejecting something alright, still is. She gave me two ibuprofen and told me to get into bed - though at 2am there's not much more she would have done really.

I had a fat ass argument with the boyfriend yesterday, shortly after we'd had the best sex ever. Strange xD. We're alright now, though my mum's been being a right gay ass since yesterday over till today. I got so stressed out that I ended up smoking in my room - fucking dangerous. I was sat in bed, light on, window open, smoking. The smell's only just gone lol. Mum never caught me, but still. I'm surprised I got that stressed that I'd take that risk!

I haven't weighed myself, and I'll be waiting as long as possible. Though even now my scales are shouting for me.

My scales talk to me they do (:



  1. LOVE YOU.

    I'm being an invisible failure at the moment. I'm still here, I'm just not, here... call me tonight if you want? love love love

  2. i think my scales talk to me too?
    oh well, i can handle it :)
    hope you are alright, xo.


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