My name's Hazel, and I need people to know who I am.
I think that maybe, just maybe, I'm ready for people to know. But equally, that scares me.
I want people to know that I get scared, that I fall in love too easily. That I don't take criticism well.
I need people to know that I push people away because I'm terrified of what'll happen if they find out who I really am. I need people to know that I don't mean to tear them apart, really it's myself that's dying.
Really, I want to be able to stop pretending. It would be great if I could walk around without all my bracelets on, or make my way to the toilet after eating without people spreading rumours.
See, if they knew the truth, they wouldn't need to spread the rumours.
dear hazel,
ReplyDeletei know what it's like, to keep people out, to hide, and i know that it is scary to let anyone in, scared of being hurt, and what they will think when they see you. the real you.
but hazel, i think you are lovely, caring, thoughtful, beautiful, wonderful.. the list of adjectives goes on and on.
i'm helen, and i want to know who you are. i care.
dearest hazel
ReplyDeletemy name is jo and all the feelings and wishes you wrote about i feel too. they are scary and painful and many people do not understand. but i am here and, like helen, i care.
i want to know who you are.
<3