Friday, 25 June 2010

OhOhOh. Everything Is Wrong.

I know you're reading this. You shouldn't be really. You don't want to see me my dear, you say you can't. So why continue to read about my life, rather than finding out for yourself. I hate you. No I don't. I just fucking hate feeling like this.

Want to know a secret? Once upon a time, I was actually in love with you Nikki. Ha, how things have changed. Now I just wish we could be friends like we used to be.


I miss him y'know. I miss being able to call him my boyfriend. I miss the hugs, the kisses, the closeness. Sex, yeah I miss that too. I hate the fact that he believed the lie I told him - I told him I didn't love him in the same way anymore. He forgot that when people get too close, I push them away.

I've fucked Jacob over too. Oh my.

Really, I just want to feel beautiful. To feel like someone actually wants me.


  1. I know what you mean. I felt that way when my boyfriend broke up with me... Thanks for the comment, it helped lift me up a little. :) And I'm sure "better" will happen some time for you. In fact, I know it will.
    Right now I'm just staying the fuck away from food because it ruins everything. Maybe that'll fix all I've screwed up...
    Maybe he just knew that you were freaking out and that you needed space. Maybe he's just stupid, guys can be... Either way, your support is amazing, and I hope that this helps.
    Stay strong sweetie!

  2. i'm oh so sorry. =[
    i'm here for you no matter what. corny, i know.. but true.
    hang in there. =]

  3. *hugs, hugs, and more hugs*
    i think that you are beautiful.
    you may not believe that now, but i hope that someday you will, because you are.

  4. sweetheart I know exactly how you feel. Life sucks you dont know who to talk to without him being afraid that hes moved on, I feel the same way. Trust me it will get better and you'll find someone who you eventually wont push away because you know so desperately that you cant even say that you dont love him the same way because you know that you do! You'll be happy and beautiful with him. You'll grow stronger from this!
    Stay strong love! Dont let this bring you down
    Soph <3


Write away, I promise I'll listen.