CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Friday 8 October 2010

Doesn'tGiveAFuckNess

Well I pretty much established that Ronald doesn't give a fuck what I'm looking at on Blogger, so therefore I have established a "Doesn't-Give-A-Fuck-Ness" about screening the computer when I'm on this (: 


I'll be moving into my own place by the end of this week [well I say "own place", but in actuality I'm paying £75 a week to have my own pretty epic room and almost complete usage of the rest of the tree-story house], and I shall explain how now; on Monday night I was admitted to the psychiatry unit at A&E, which my bitch of a mother obviously didn't take too well turning up at 2230. It's cool tho, I'd only been there since 1800 y'know? Long story short, they did fuck all, sent me home, and the next day I grew enough bollocks to tell her I was leaving.


I won't lie, my elated mood is prolly due to the random change of surroundings - GIRLS I WILL BE BACK TO MY EMO-LIKE ANALYTICS OF MY CLINICAL DEPRESSION IN NO  TIME ;D




I kid - though I have been doing some epic research having found my old diary and such, and I found an old post which may interest y'all. It fucking tore me to shit at the time, and if this hadn't made me see I really wasn't normal, then I don't know what would have.


"You mustn't sleep because the nightmares will get you. You see them whenever they close your eyes. Some people are silly, and they say that it's okay, they say that you should talk about your nightmares because that will make them less real. But they're either lying or they haven't got a clue.


Sometimes when you close your eyes you see your sister being raped, sometimes you see your mum dying. A lot of the time you see your dad doing all the things he used to do. And the thing is, it's your fault. It's all your fault, the dreams. Even when your dad has been doing these things in real life, you know it's your fault really. Why couldn't you be perfect enough? Because you're weak, that's why.


All anyone has to do is look at you and they'll realise. It's in your eyes. You're never going to be anything. You'll never be anyone."


Reality is a bitch, ladies and gentlemen.

2 comments:

  1. YOU ARE MOVING OUT?!? not fair! :o i wanna move out :[ why are you moving out?

    & you couldnt have put it better, reality is definetly a bitch!

    all my love hun. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh love, i LOVEYOU!

    and well done for moving out girl, it must seem absolutely awesome!

    are you alright now, you know after the hospital incident?

    love love love you girl!

    xo :)

    ReplyDelete

Write away, I promise I'll listen.