On Thursday I weighed myself. I had to see what the damage had been, so I could fix it. The scales said 143.8lbs. That was a disgusting bmi of 20.93. Since, I've been doing abc and I'm 138.4 lbs.and horrible bmi of 20.14. I don't remember the last time my bmi was in the 20s and I absolutely despise it.
But today is party and babysitting day. NOT TOGETHER LOL. I'm babysitting till 1am then I'm going to a house party. Drugs no drink all night long baby. I've taken a liking to cocaine as a party drug, but ketamine wouldn't be something I did to go out with. It's just too damn trippy. But basically, my worry is that I'll look like a whale in whichever dress I choose to wear. It's not even a worry anymore, I KNOW I'll look like a whale.
I knew I was humungous before, but I managed to push that voice of truth out of my mind. Now it's back and screaming at me, and I hate it. I wonder how we survive half the time. I realise that we rarely manage to get down to a dangerous weight, but how does the insanity not stop us all from living? Maybe it does, but we die inside instead of on the outside.
Sorry for all the negativity! Basically, today is a 300 day and I'ma do damn well.
How're you beauties finding eating habits at the moment? <3
How're you beauties finding eating habits at the moment? <3
Fuck those numbers, you can lower them in no time! Go out and have fun tonight, m'love. Think I'm too much of a nerd for the hardcore drugs, but if they were so readily available to me I think I'd quite happily do them as an alternative to drinking. Be careful, though.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE going to do damn well, I know it. <3
Have fun, but not too much fun. ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you have a good day today. <3
Just checking I can still comment <3
ReplyDeleteThose numbers are damn good :) Well done girl!
ReplyDeleteHope your party was awesome, just be careful with the drugs ok? Not being a naggy mother or anything but in some situations things can go wrong.
Stay Strong lovely <3