Saturday, 14 August 2010

I'm weighing myself tomorrow.

They're watching you y'know. Laughing at you, whispering about you. You're a pig. You don't deserve to want to be thin, I'm just going to let you be empty. Empty in the heart, empty in the head. By the time I'm through with you, you won't have a soul.

Friends, you call them friends? They're there to laugh at you, to egg you on in your mindless behaviours. They cannot even begin to fathom your need for this perfection which you cannot understand yourself. The smiles they give, the hugs you recieve, you know it's all lies. This world is messed up, twisted. They only pull you in close so that they can watch you crumble as they stab you in the back. But you know this.

How dare you let them in so close you idiotic little girl. They'll never want you - not even you want you. You've put on mask after mask that I've handed you, lapping up the attention I'm giving you like a sick little puppy. And my plan has worked. Because now you rely upon me, and noone but me, to try to redefine your identity. Even though you found out a long time ago, that I will never allow you to be the person you used to be. 

You're pitiful, and you know this. Every refusal of food, every second of wolfing down whatever you can find like there's no tomorrow, every minute that you are alive and breathing - you are pitiful. It would be better off that you weren't on this earth, but rather under it. People will cry, false tears of course. Because you aren't worth real tears now, are you?

So cling on to the false hope that someday you can break free of me, and seek false security in the meantime. But don't you ever dare forget that I'm always here. And you will return to me, every single time.


  1. no.
    if anything ever happened to you i would cry, real tears. i don't cry fake ones. and i do care, selflessly. i care, and you don't deserve any of this pain and i know you won't believe me but you should, i speak the truth. you do have a soul and you will always.
    i really want to punch that voice out, i was never one for physical violence but if it made the pain go away for you i would.
    cling on to that hope. it is not false.

  2. Just hang in there. Life can be shit, and I know you're struggling, but you can make it through... Missed you, by the way.


Write away, I promise I'll listen.