Sunday, 22 August 2010

Your Voice Has Chased Away All The Sanity In Me

Eat to block it out, you know you can't face being empty
The world is out to get you, don't tackle this gently
You're a failure, you're scum. You'll never get through this
It doesn't matter how many times she can show you how to do this

At her mercy, you succumb to her will
Purging and starving, cutting deeper yet still
You're useless you see, you've signed over all rights
This life is no longer yours to live.


Meh. Spur of the moment. A kitten died in my arms last night; her name was Janey and she was only 4 weeks old. Runt of the litter. I was going to take her home, to nurse her better. But I noticed something was really wrong and tried to give her some lactol. She drank a lot - but then she stopped breathing.

Last night my dad called too. When I told my mum I didn't want to talk to him, she told me to stop thinking I was better than everyone else. To stop being so selfish and petty. I don't mean to be - it's just that I won't let him ruin my life again. As if there's any life left for him to ruin.

I'd forgotten Prince's laugh, of all things. But I went video searching and found it. I miss him a lot.

This has been a very selfish post, and I'm sorry.

1 comment:

  1. this isn't selfish, this is for you. and thats a great thing. you have to do things for you, you know. this blog is yours, do what ever you want. its free! rant and rave all you want. no matter what, i shall be here.


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