I told you it would happen. You knew you couldn't carry on this way anymore. Filled out nicely they said. It's good to see you aren't ill anymore they said. Look at those lovely new curves.
How dare you. Only I can fill the hole you try to fill with food. Only I can make you worth something. But you go against me every time. You fight me. Why? For normality? |Don't make me laugh, you could never be normal. Just look at you.
I see those rolls that're developing, I see that muscle losing tone and definition. Just because the numbers are smaller. It doesn't mean anything. You're fat. You make me sick. Why should I even bother? I should leave your ass to get fatter and fatter. I should leave you to follow in the obese footsteps of your mother. You're going to be just like her. And it's all your fault.
I'm sorry Ana, please don't leave me. I need you.
See. You come running back everytime. But now I won't even let you go in the first place.
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ahhh, the life we lead. its so twisted and sick. yet for some reason, we feel that we thrive on it, that we have to have it. maybe one of these days, we'll realize its better without ana, or mia, or anyone.
ReplyDeleteThe vicious cycle of doing well and then not so well. I hate it.
ReplyDeleteI was doing so well last week, I had a social weekend where there was so much food involved and now I can't stop eating.
I'm sorry you feel like this. I'm sorry you feel like you getting fatter.
I wish I knew what to say.
Sending you hugs
Xxxx