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Wednesday 18 August 2010

Summer is the hardest.

Summer is when everyone has something to do, so summer is when posting goes to shit. I need to be able to read, to comment, to read my own comments. Because if for one minute I don't have something to occupy my time, I either cry or eat or eat whilst crying. I'm selfish, I know. Someone once told me that depression was selfish. I suppose it is.

I eat strange things now - I like salty food the most. You think me saying strange is overrated but no; I eat a few cat biscuits whenever I'm at the petshop, because it's the only thing that stops me from running to the MacDonalds next door. I even tried rabbit food today, but that wasn't nice. The dry cat food however, may end up staying. I feel stupid for it. I want to be able to eat normal amounts, as opposed to eating nothing most of the time and shitloads paired with purging the rest. I just want to be ablle to eat without having to punish myself. But then I suppose eating is a disgusting thing, in my mind.

It's like a war - mind vs body.

Results day tomorrow - good luck to all of the A level students.

2 comments:

  1. Hey hun, I know exactly what you mean... but I'm reading :-) And woo, we're both in the UK... is it results day tomorrow?? Will keep my fingers crossed for you! Stay strong, you can do this... feel free to message me if you want :-) x x

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  2. darling, i love you. call me when you get your results.

    you're not selfish. i miss you. it's your birthday soon, we need to do something. maybe i'll come to see you? we'll talk soon.

    love you lots, beautiful turk <3

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