PILLS.

Oh I do believe I'm scaring myself enough now. There are so many voices in my head, wanting me to starve, wanting me to die, wanting me to fail. But the scariest part is that they're all me.

Mood swings are scary. I go from just being horrifically numb to screaming the place down; we all know what a psycho my mother can be, but all I seem to do now is yell at her and argue with her - I'm not making things any better.

I've started some new pills today and I wear patches too; the patches are called Slim Bomb, and the patches help to supress my appetite. I have a driving lesson later, my first, and I'm just worried that not eating will affect it. But I can't eat. Just can't.

I weighed myself today, and all the updownnotusinglaxativestryingtoeatlikeanormalpersonbuthurtingmorethananormalperson has put me up to 135lbs. But I'll be 130lbs by sunday, I know it.

One day everything will be better - I just don't know when one day will be.