Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Finally Got Rid Of Some Weight

Back down at 131lbs finally. But I come with bad news ): I'm going on holiday with my mum today, until saturday. That means I'm going to be around her constantly. That means she'll see everything I do, or more importantly don't eat. 

So what do I do?
I've been eating less that 700 calories a day, which is a high number I know, but most days it's actually under 300 calories. I saw this guy yesterday, he used to be married to my great aunt. He told me I need to put on weight, get some meat on me.

What is it with these turkish people? My bmi is in the bloody normal range, and I hate it!

Also had a conversation in which I told my younger sister how much I hate it when my boyfriend picks me up. You're going to love her reaction.

"But you're too heavy to be picked up!"

That m'dears is precisely why I hate being picked up. But my boyfriend loves to prove the point that I'm not to heavy for him. ARGH.

This is a slightly random/schizophrenic post I realise. But I'm in pieces. What the fuck do I do? I won't have any scales, and I won't be able to hide my intake. I'm going to set myself a challenge though. I have to be 127lbs by the time I come back.

That's reasonable right? I'm beyond caring.

I've been shutting people out more and more, and I hate this. Every time I think I'm beating the depression, it comes on stronger - like a tidal wave smothering me, engulfing me. And there's absolotely no way I can beat it. I haven't been self harming, but each day the need to is getting so much stronger. I've become so dark. I'm just so tired of it all tbh.


1 comment:

  1. a mysterious stomach bug could solve your holiday problems

    how young is she? she probz means cause you taller

    i hate being picked up to its horrible !!! my friends do it



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