Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Fixing the Damage.

I've eaten 100 calories today, and c'est tout. I would have fasted, but I have medication to take. Excuses I know, but certain medicines I would be foolish to take on an empty stomach. 

This morning I weighed in at 131lbs, and I weighed myself just now at 130lbs. So I'm losing. I'm hoping to be 128lbs tomorrow morning, but I'd be happy with any loss. 

Guess whose favourite (step)father is coming again on Friday? YAYYY. Fucking douche. Sorry about the french. :D. Least I'm at art class on friday, and turkish school on saturday, so I don't have to see him much at all.

I had gymnastics coaching today, nearly fell asleep but what the hey. Burned a fair bit, and mum assumed I ate dinner there. Didn't stop her from buying shit loads of pizza though. And chicken strips. But I refuse to eat them :). She can be 5 foot 6 and 200lbs, but I'd rather not be thanks. Yes ladies, my mother has a b.m.i of over 32. Eurgh.

My mother... she is in fact everything I don't want to be. I detest her. I despise her. I don't respect her. But I still love her. I hate myself for it. She's the main reason I am the way I am: at 12 years old, when she was falling apart over my (step)dad I was the one wiping away her tears, and raising my younger sister. She hates the fact that I raised my sister. She gets back at me for it every single day.

Lol oh dear, this post is getting really hard to write all of a sudden >.< I'll blog later at some point. Thanks for the comments my lovelies, they really helped lift me out of a slump :).



  1. Well done on the cals! You're doing so well,
    I can relate to the whole detest/love mum sitch, mine's pretty much the same, except with my brother.. sometimes I think it gives me good drive to be less like her xxx

  2. Thanks for the comment. i is so helpful to know that someone cares enougt to say a few works.
    Good work on the low cals.
    My mum also bought so much food. i mean all the good foods what i would like to eat but cant because they will make ma a fatass.

    I hope you are as good tomorrow as you where today.


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