Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Waste Of Space.

Well y'see, I'm the biggest waste of space this world has ever seen. Yesterday and the day before I've been arguing with my mum about my fucking (step)dad. I don't feel safe around him. I hate him. Drug dealing, murdering, psychobullshitting bastard. He makes me cry. He makes me cut. He makes me eat. He makes me hurt. Guess who came round last night? Last night is a whole different story.

I had to call an ambulance for my 11 year old sister last night: suspected meningitis. It wasn't, thank fuck, but she needed help. My mum wouldn't do anything, just kept saying that there was a doctors appointment for her tomorrow. I hate it when she's stubborn like this. My sister's alright though, at least. So (step)father dearest came round about 12:30am, just after we got back from the hospital.

I've been binging - eating my emotions. I'm so sorry ): I'm supposed to stay this strong person that I have been recently, but I'm falling apart. I'm desperately trying to hold on to this person that I'm trying so desperately to be. To stay as. I weighed myself earlier: 132lbs.



  1. Look love, we all fall apart sometimes. You shouldn't be sorry for failing if you've had to deal with some things.
    The best part about hitting the ground is the feeling you get when you're back at the top.
    Think thin x

  2. Don't think about it. That was before and this is you now. You CAN still be that person! You ARE still that person. It was incredibly responsible of you to take your sister to the hospital, so well done. Your step dad doesn't sound so good though :S
    Hope you're ok,

  3. I am so sorry. I hope your sister will be okey and that your (STEP)dad will go away and leave you alone.
    Tomorrow is a better day and you can be on track again.


  4. You are NOT a waste of space. You are worth every square inch, and more. Your stepfather is a bastard for making you cry.

    I hope your sister will be okay.

    And remember... no one can be strong forever. It's okay to fall apart every now and then.



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