128lbs + binge = ?

Weighed in this morning at 128lbs. BMI of 19.2.

I've eaten a lot today. I'm going to indulge.

But that's okay. Felicity and I are helping eachother - no more than 500 calories a day, and every friday is a fast day.

I'm 3lbs away from being in the 8 stone bracket (:   Think thin.

Hazel.

Woke Up at 131lbs ^.^

Okay, I'm pretty happy with the weight loss I ended up with as a result of the fast... but today we went to Harvester and I had to eat a full meal >.<

Not happy.

Hazel.

Late night weigh in.
I'm 131lbs (:
Will update in the morning.

Hazel.

200 calories after fainting please :)

I've been a tad ill today: migraines, wanting to throw up and such. So I didn't eat... I mean if you think you're going to throw up on empty, are you seriously going to make it worse by eating? No. Well then at around half 5, I was getting out of my car going into my nan's house and I just sorta... collapsed. I fainted basc. Got inside and she put me some food, salmon and veg - didn't eat much of it though, thank fuck. Definately under 200.

Weighed myself this morning, 133lbs. So I'd lost 1lb. I'll weight myself tomorrow morning too, and see if my sort of fast helped me achieve anything. I know I wont be noticabley thinner for college on the 6th, but doesn't mean I wont try!

Mum's jetted off to Northern Cyprus till the 2nd and Dad's been left to "look after me". So I'm looking after him ^.^ Yay me. Least it means I can get away with eating a hell of a lot less. 

Dad's finally letting me see my cousins! Y'all have no idea how happy I am about it - I haven't seen them in 3 years. Going down there on Tuesday.

Okay... not sure what else to write now... I feel a touch hyper though xD.

Hazel

Thinspiration.

Enjoy!

Hazel.

May as well start again.

Santa gave me 5lbs for christmas.

134lbs I am. I feel revolting. Disgusted. Sick. Angry.

Dead.

I'm going to fix this.

Hazel.

Today Is A New Day

Hey twiggies, just thought I'd quickly post before work. Last night I ate a stupid amount. I was fine with my eating at my auntie's house - I should have just stayed there. She served me a nice minimal portion dinner (300 calories) and that was it. But then I came home. I had about 300 calories of roast beef and potatoes before going out. That's not bad you say? After I came back from the pub I had about 400 calories of more roast beef and potatoes.

1100 calories. I don't think I've eaten that much in a long time. My weight... It's between 129 and 130 every time I look. And I've had enough of it.

Today it's christmas eve, so I'll be working all day at the pet shop: constant physical activity, no time for lunch, until about 6pm. My limit today is 400 calories. My absolute limit.

I have to go now girlies, think thin. Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.

Stolen survey. Need to occupy time.

Survey

Your Favorites
1. Color: Purple and lime green.
2. Scent: Hmm, I like diesel for women ^.^
3. Mascara: Avon Curlacious.
4. Eyeshadow: I don't wear any xD
5. Lip gloss/Lipstick: Deep red or clear. Depends on what look I'm going for.
6. Beauty trick: Uhm..?
7. Song to sing in the car: Teenage Dirtbag.
8. Song to sing in the shower: Dido - White Flag.
9. Model: Agnys Deann. I can't spell her name - shit me
10. Celebrity crush: Scarlett Johanesonn. Phitt. And also the young Vin Diesel. Before he had too much muscle.
11. TV show: ANTM, Futurama, Eastenders, Scrubs.
12. Movie: I like most movies.
13. Author: The author of When Daddy Comes Home.


The Last Thing You...
1. Saw at the movies: 2012. Legendary movie :D
2. Bought as a Christmas present: A purple hat for my best friend.
3. Read for fun: Chobits :D
4. Watched on TV: Watching Mighty Heart now.
5. Heard on the radio: Fuck knows >.<


Right Now, It's
[ ] below zero
[x] just plain cold
[ ] sunny
[x] snowing
[ ] rainy
[ ] windy
[ ] overcast
[x] late
[ ] early
[x] afternoon


Your Appearance & Opinions
1. Your Eye color: Boringly brown.

2. Your Hair color: Dark brown once again.
3. A color you would like to dye your hair someday: Black blue.
4. Name someone who has sexy hair: Uhmm... Lindsay Lohan. The long brunette look was phit as.
5. Name someone with pretty eyes: Penelope Cruz.
6. Your favorite facial feature: My lips.
7. Name someone with the perfect pout: Kate Moss.
8. Your least favorite body parts:My bum and upper thighs.
9. Name at least one person who thinks you're attractive: My boyfriend (I hope)
10. The last compliment you received: Mum - you've lost too much weight.


Complete the Sentence
I feel sexy when... I know I've lost and people notice.
It makes me laugh when boys... Think they can do whatever the hell they like, then realise that I actually have self respect.
The funniest joke I've heard recently is... "What do you call a black guy flying a plane?   A pilot you racist."
The movie I'm really excited for is... Idk.
What I want for Xmas is... Gym membership - I think my mum's getting me one ^.^


You are...
[] overweight (BMI greater than 25)
[x] considered at a healthy weight (BMI of 18.5-25) My bmi is 19.2 I think.
[ ] underweight (BMI of less than 18.5)
[ ] bulimic
[x] EDNOS
[ ] anorexic
[ ] trying to lose 1-5 lbs.
[ ] trying to lose 5-10 lbs.
[ ] trying to lose 10-20 lbs.
[x] trying to lose 20-30 lbs.
[ ] trying to lose 30+ lbs.
[x] unhappy with your weight/appearance
[ ] at your highest weight currently
[x] at your lowest weight currently   my lowest in two years.


You have...
[] lost your virginity
[x] binged
[] made yourself vomit
[x] abused laxatives
[x] had more than 5 shots in one night
[x] kissed a girl
[x] smoked cigarettes
[] smoked pot
[] done coke/meth/ecstasy/heroin
[] a tattoo (or plan on getting one)
[x] piercings in other places besides your ears
[x] gone skinny dipping
[x] watched porn
[ ] woke up not realizing where you were
[x] walked in on someone having sex

A New Day

Hey all, I know I promised thinspo today but I'm at my auntie's house and therefore not on my own laptop >.< But a good thing is that my auntie has put both her kids on diets, therefore I don't get odd looks for not eating much. It's 1315 and I've had a 100 calorie yoghurt ^.^

Dad's come round again, so he might be taking me out to eat. Eurgh. I'm feeling a smidge edgy, I haven't had any cigarettes in 3 days - be proud! Lol, I weighed myself this morning and auntie's scales showed me at 129lbs, but I'm not sure how accurate the scales are :( Going out tonight though, pubbing so I'll be active for a few extra hours and I'll be able to use the excuse of eating at the pub. It's Brother Ben's leaving do - I'm going to miss him :(

Hmms, well I shall go. Think thin ladies! Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.

So Long To ABC

Well I've decided to drop ABC. I started it around 133lbs, and I finish it at 129lbs. 4lbs in 10 days isn't too bad, it's just that because ABC is so rigorous it made me want to binge more and more.

So here's my measurements as promised:

Upper thigh: 20.5inches    0 inch loss.

Lower thigh: 15.5 inches   .5 inch loss.

Bum:36 inches    1 inch loss.

Hips: 33inches    0 inch loss.

Waist: 25 inches   1 inch loss. 

Rib cage: 28 inches   .5 inch loss.

Bust: 33 inches   2 inch loss.

Inch loss since 8th December (14 days):   5 inches.

Mm, could be better. I'm pissed that I didn't lose from my upper thighs. I hate my upper thighs.

Okay, so the a few hours after I finished my fast I got piss drunk. Lorenzo was over. Not a good combo. He basc took advantage of me, and now he's saying that he doesn't know whether to forgive me or not. I am extremely confused as to what I have done... I don't even remember that night very well. At least I never slept with him.

Stuff with the boyfriend is going pretty fantastic now... We've become so close and sorted out all of our problems - it's still a work in progress, but we're both trying and it's working. I reckon we might make love soon (: He supports my weight loss too, so long as I eat a litte during the day, he doesn't get too upset. He says I'm perfect how I am, but what does he know eh? :D

News on the clothes front:

I now just about fit into my size 8 (US 4) shorts, but I need to lose about an inch more upper thigh, and some more off my hips and ass to feel comfortable wearing them out. Obv I still can't fit into my 6s (US 2) though, but I can just about get them up to my ass now. I bought myself a purple skirt from H&M today, its a lovely 8 (US 4) and it fits. But if I lose about an inch from my waist and hips and bum, then it'll look perfect.

I reckon I'm going to start setting some goals for myself too... Hey, it's New Years coming up soon, eh? Here we go:

Short term:

*Be comfortably within the 8 stone margin by January 31st.

*Be size 8 bottoms by January 31st.

*Lose a total of 9 inches by January 31st.

Long term:

*Be a size 6.

*Be no more than 25 inches on any one part of my body.

*Be a thinspiration.

Sound good?

Well ladies, I'm out. Think thin. Reject everything. Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.

P.S. Lots of thinspo coming your way next post.

Hiii again.

So today was a 400 calorie day, and last past I wrote that I've eaten 60 today. Just thought I'd update:

Roast chicken breast. 125 calories.

Muller yoghurt. 140 calories.

2 biscuits. 60 calories.

C'est tout ^.^ Total (including the 60 calories from earlier) : 385 calories.

Yayy me!

Okies then skinnies, I'm out! Twigs Can Fly.

Hazel.

Hmm, still 129.

So far today I've eaten:

A malteser. 30 calories?

A square of dairy milk. 30 calories.

And that's it. 60 calories. (:

So I'm happy.

I've finally got myself back onto the Wii, and playing Wii Fit. The program told me that I've lost 10lbs since I was last on it - yayy! Hoping that I'll weigh myself either tonight or tomorrow morning and be 126/127 lbs. I definately want to be in the low 120s by new years, if not the 110s. Least I'm stuck fast on 129, and not back up ^.^

Eurgh I've got such a migraine today, it was the last day of sixth form before breaking up for the holidays, and it was so drama filled :( Last night my boyfriend got into an argument with his dad, and his dad tried to stab him with a kitchen knife in the stomach. Luckily enough he only nicked the top. I say luckily, but the truth is that it shouldn't have happened in the first place. I remember the first time my dad hit me... I was in pieces. Last night was the first time his dad had hit him...

Today in the common room, after making sure my boyfriend was okay, we started to play truth or dare. The bottle landed on me, and my dare was to snog this whorish girl called Natasha. It's like, yeah I'm bisexual, but that doesn't mean I'll happily snog anything with a minge. Christ! But yeah I did, cause I don't back down from dares, and the reaction of everyone else afterwards was hilarious xD. Oh gosh, what a loverly dayyy.

Okay, well I'ma go clean out the guinea pigs: A pretty mucky job if you ask me, so it'll distract me from eating. Think thin ladies, Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.

Progress. Slow but sure.

I weighed myself in the morning at 130lbs. I just weighed myself again and im 129lbs :D

Thats:

129lbs

9stone3

58kgs.

Progress. Today is a 200calorie day, but I don't know if I'll even utilise them - I'm not intentionally fasting, I just feel utterly euphoric! I haven't been to college today, and I suppose it's a good thing. I just need some time out.

After yesterday's humiliation (sorry to those who read and thought I'd give a little t.m.i), I feel like I'm turning over a new leaf.

I had an argument with a friend earlier, "Grace". She says I have an eating disorder, but the thing is that I know this isn't true. I have disordered eating from time to time, yes, but I don't have an eating disorder. I'm in control of this :D.

Think thin ladies! Push past any barriers you have created for yourself, because Twigs Can Fly! We just have to prove it.

Hazel.

Shitty dayyy

Food intake's been okay. It was more than 100 calories though:

Half a pizza baguette. 85 calories.
Milkshake from Shakeaway. 125 calories.

So I had 210. Not so bad, I won't kill myself for it.


From last night to today has perhaps been the darkest time I've seen for a while. Last night I got myself in such a big state about my fast that I was reduced to tears. I broke a hanger and cut my arm over and over again. I don't think I've ever seen so much blood... I've had to cover it with a bandage and tell people that I've sprained it by falling out of bed. At college I pretty much drifted in and out... My boyfriend found out about my self harming last night, and it's now as if he's tiptoeing around me. I told one of my newest, yet closest friends "Lorenzo" about my self harming, and he actually managed to make me smile without forcing it. That was pretty short lived though.

We went  to the shopping centre after I'd finished college. All the normal: I got my scaffolding repierced (one of them hadn't set straight) and I bought a christmas present for my secret santa. But then I realised I was going to be late home. We ran tp the cab office, but they told us that we'd have to wait 20minutes for a cab. So we went into the train station and got travelcards to get to the station by my house. We were on the train when all of a sudden my stomach started to churn and cramp up, I guess my body was rejecting yesterday's binge. I told Lorenzo we had to get off at that stop so that I could use a toilet, I told him that I needed a wee really badly and that I thought I was going to wet myself. Truth is that what I'd eaten last night was slowly and violently trickling out of me. I made it to tesco's toilets just in time, but I had to throw my knickers away. I was fucking mortified. I can't believe that that happened. It makes me sick to my stomach that a binge can do that to me.

I guess now I just wont binge. Thank fuck Lorenzo didn't notice. I guess the good new would be that weighing myself this morning I'm exactly 130lbs. So I haven't gained anymore.

I'm watching the Royal Variety Show, and there's a song being performed called "I Hate Days Like This". It's like a techno, soft rock remix. I like it - it kind of explains everything. Well I guess I'm going to blog off now, I'll check all of your blogs etc etc then curl up in my bed and pray to god I don't mutilate my arm again.

It's like something's taking over my head again. This isn't what I wanted. Think thin ladies, Twigs Can Fly.

Hazel.

Yayayayayayayyy... No.

Weighed myself this morning...129lbs. Fucking legend! But no. I binged about an hour ago. Here's today's food intake:

Quarter of a baguette with cheese. 135 calories.

Chicken pasty. 175 calories.

2 and a half sausages. 312.5 calories.

Total calories 622.5.

Six hundred and twenty fucking two point five calories. And guess how much I weigh now because of it. 130lbs. I gained a whole freaking pound because I decided to be all fat and consume 487.5 calories in one go. What the actual fuck.

Think thin, because I can't. Twigs Can Fly.

Hazel.

LOSING MY FUCKING MARBLES I SWEAR

Okay forget just doing the shorter post, I'm losing my marbles I'm sure of fit.

My hands aren't working properly, typing is taking all the energy out of me. I have a splitting headache and my eyes hurt. Yes my eyes hurt. For all those who haven't realised, this is going to be an extremely whiney post. Be warned.

I have a shitload of homework to do for Philsosophy, but my mind has switched itself off and refuses to cooperate. I also have a hell of a lot of christmas cards to personalise - which I'm failing at. But I'm not giving in to hunger. I cannot give in to hunger. I am 130lbs, and tomorrow when I wake up in the morning I will have broken the 120s, if not I will take a break from ABC and fast untill I hit 125. This is mind over matter. My mind will succeed.

I have to break up with my boyfriend - it isn't even a question of wanting to be with anybody else... He's draining me. And when you're single you can be friends with whoever you like without anybody questioning your motives. Yesterday was exactly a month since Prince died, yet people still talk at me thinking that I have desensitised myself. I haven't.

I still haven't self harmed. It's not that I refuse to, because I believe that it will happen sooner if not later, but it's the fact that I'm bottling it all up until I explode. I will explode at some point, and I'm direly worried about the results. Though luckily enough for me it shall not be a binge, I'll make sure of that.

I've found some pills with an almost laxative effect. They're vitamins from Boots which you're supposed to dissolved in water then drink, but I've been putting small bits in my mouth, dissolving them with my saliva, then swallowing them. The gas builds up inside your stomach and then forces out a poo (loll :D). You end up with a stomach ache for about 5 minutes, and a slight headache, but that goes away pretty quickly. Yayy :)

Gosh I'm running out of steam, this isn't much of a rant really now is it? I suppose the real reason why I'm blogging all of this would be to keep me out of the kitchen... I can't fail this, I want to be skinny for the new year - I want to be a Twig :) Argh, I have a headache. I'm slightly worried about my will power on the days which I'll have to fast :S But hopefully the fact that my UK10 (US6) drainpipes are now fitting more like very loose skinnies will help drive me forward.

I reckon I'll put my measurement up again soon, I'm aiming for a nice big loss! I know: I'll put them up after the first day fast of ABC is completed - least then I can expect a pretty decent -inch!

Ho hum, what to do now? It's the boredom which causes me to eat more than I'm supposed to really... I need more will power. If any of y'all want to swap msn/email addresses let me know? I don't think I can do this by myself :(

Think thin ladies, Twigs Can Fly :)

Hazel.

300 calories => 119 :)

Okay well I've done pretty well today, here's my intake:

Patty 90 calories

2 cigarettes 0 calories

Total intake so far: 90 calories :)

Weight loss so far: 3lbs. :)

And that's it! I think I'll have a green tea and some cucumber, but apart from that all is fine ^.^

Been a pretty crap day, nearly broke up with boyfriend because he's annoyedat how close I am to Seamus but yeah. Should have taken the oppurtunity to dump him really, but it's not that easy is it?

Short post once again - Twigs Can Fly ladies!

Hazel.

500 faill.

Today I consumed calories 681, so I'm taking 181 calories off of tomorrows allowance: :)

Two pieces of wholemeal bread with butter, crust removed. 130 calories.

Two pieces of pizza. 480 calories.

Chicken wing. 70 calories.

Green tea. 1 calorie.

Was an alright day actually, apart from the food front. Went to T's house, and he started moaning that I wasn't eating enough. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I laughed it off and just ate another piece. Grrg :( On the plus I've been exercising today!

Had fun though. Till now. Arguing with the boyfriend. He's annoyed cause I'm married to my best friend Seamus on facebook. It's like... "Okay then..."

Don't have time to post more, as my cuntbag of a father is round. YAYY. >.< Think thin ladies, because Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.

Intake for today:

* Quorn cottage pie. 295 calories.

* Red Bull sugarfree. 7 calories.

* Dinner (25g kidney beans, 25g chick peas, 25g tuna, slice of bread and butter). 188.5 calories.

* Sugarfree jelly. 5 calories.

Total: 495.5 calories.

I've stayed within my limit! With a few calories to spare - I doubt I'll eat anymore tonight, but just in case I get the hungries, I've still got some sugarfree jelly left over ^.^ Yaysss.

Been on my fault and lifting things all day at the petshop. I love being at the petshop normally, but my boss has been increasingly pervy >.< He slapped my ass twice today whilst I was on the ladder, and he squeezed past me from behind instead of asking me to move. I'm probably just being silly, but mm. I'm working christmas eve and boxing day, so as well as having extra monies I'll find eating little/no food easier.

Anyhows, tomorrow is another 500 calorie day - I'll try to blog!

Remember ladies, Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.

ABC... The inevitable is happening. Day 1.

I have had this particular blog for nearly two months now, and I have only lost approximately a stone. So I'm going to start ABC as of today:

Ana Boot Camp

1: 500 calories 12.12.2009.
2: 500 calories
3:300 calories
4:400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast

If I stick to this then I project a 30lb weight loss, yayy :D

So I'm going to leave for work in about 25minutes, and today my maximum allowance is 500 calories. Going to my nan's tonight and she'll definately have cooked something, so I won't eat whilst at work to make sure that I don't go over this. 

Start weight at ABC: 133lbs.  Can't believe I let myself get so heavy after becoming so close to breaking the 120s :(

Well good luck ladies, feel free anybody to join me. And followers... Wow! 18 followers..! That means so much to me, thanks guys :)

Remember: Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.

Thinspiration.

Been saving pictures I've come across and liked for a while now. So uh, here you go.

Been saving pictures I've come across and liked for a while now. So uh, here you go.