Heart Palpatations :(

Yesterday night I got the biggest shock of my life when my heart started skipping beats, and switching between racing and slowing right down. I was dizzy, I had the shakes. It scared the shit out of me. Today I had them on and off aswell. Hated it. My mum tried to pin it on my weight loss, but I was like HAHAHAHA NO. I've weighed less and been absolutely fine, so honestly I think it's stress.

Still at 132, had a slightly crap day of eating today though. Dad got some money from his dodgy dealings today and decided to take my sister and I out for dinner to TGIs. Ouch. I had half of a rack of ribs with a portion of chips and onion rings. Say pig anybody? And yes that means that I've broken slimmers lent already :( I feel shit for it. I need to think up a suitable punishment - something to stop me reverting back to self harm, I'm in that sort of mood :(

I'm still thinking about what to do about my so called "boyfriend", especially in regards to T. I've made my decision about the boyfriend, I want to break up with him... But I have no idea how :(   I'm seeing T on sunday, we're just going to watch a movie at his. We had a conversation about my boyfriend yesterday and he asked me a question which really hit home:

T: I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest.

Me: Okay... What's up?

T: Are you afraid of your boyfriend?

Me: ...

Me: Yes :(

T: I don't care if you end up with me or not, but I just want you to remember this - you shouldn't be with a guy that you're so afraid of.

It was like ARGH ETGNVSDGBN. Cause I know he's right :( In fact I'm arguing with my boyfriend right now... and I'm quite scared because I've just stood up to him. Oh dear

Advice any body?

Twigs Can Fly and stuff :(

Hazel.