Holy Shit. (the sequel)

Okay... Well miss piggy here weighed herself this morning. 134lbs. I can't believe that the one day slip up has cost me so much :( If I'm not back at 130 by sunday I'm going to seriously bitch fit. Today I shant be eating, but ofc I'm allowing 200 calories j.i.c.  Coaching gymnastics tonight, so hopefully that should aid the loss by a 2lbs right? I'll just make sure I join in a lot. Then theres weights and fitness class after college tomorrow, and friday I'm going to a shisha bar on edgware road of some sort with a few mates. So should be loverly :) Lots of walking.

Maximum output with minimum input.

I haven't gone to college today... I woke up this morning and just couldn't handle it. Yesterday I was in a bit of a state because of Prince's funeral the day before, and my supposedly supportive boyfriend took advantage of me :(   Recently he's been trying to make me do more and more things that I really don't want to do - I just don't know how to say no at the time. There's kind of this other guy as well... let's call him T. T and I have known eachother for 2 years, and he knows a little something about my various problems. He knows that I have a problem with my eating etc; we liked eachother quite a lot, and for quite a while now, but something always managed to get in the way of us. Then I made the mistake of getting a boyfriend. But T and I have been talking more and more, and I can honestly say that he's the only guy I can talk to frankly and honestly without fear of being judged... There's never a problem of awkwardness between us, even when we talk about our feelings for eachother.   GAHH ERGJSNDGJBNFSDLGKBN. Frustration, but now I'm questioning if my relationship with my boyfriend is worth trying to continue. He makes me feel like shit but I'm afraid to leave him. Stuff's so hard when you see someone everyday pretty much.   But I really like T. Argh complicationsss.

Enough about that anyhow. I'm worried that because I'm staying at home a lot today I'm going to be boredom driven to eat. So yeah, slightly worried about that. Any suggestions my girlies?

I had never remembered how disgusting being full felt, and yesterday was just eurgh :( I refuse to let that happen to me again, I just can't let it. On the plus side, people have been commenting about my weight loss... although it's been from my mum and my two aunties, and in a negative (they think) way. Here's how the conversation went:

Mum: You've lost so much weight, Hazel.

Me: Have I? I hadn't really noticed...

Mum: Mm. Well you've lost quite a bit.

Aunty 1: Yeah, you don't have so much padding around your hips anymore. You used to be fuller.

Aunty 2: And your face too, it really shows up on your face. Your bone structure looks harsher.

And so on and so forth... the whole time in my mind I was hysterics xD. My mind:

Mind: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. Oh my, I've lost a stone and you've finally noticed, yet you think it's bad? Mum you sit there eating two chickens to yourself or finishing off everyone elses food, telling me you want to lose weight but you cant cause you have no exercise time, and now YOU'RE criticising ME!?

Mind: Aunty 1, you're a fucking stick any way. You weight about 8 stone... so don't be a hypocrite please :)    And less padding around the hips... that seems like a pretty good thing to me, so thanks for the compliment!

Mind: Aunty 2... You're almost as large as my 15 stone mother... You're about 12 stone. So please don't lecture me about my harsh facial structure when you're disappearing behind a double chin and you cannot for the life of you see your feet when you stand up and look down. I've always found my bones pretty anyhow.

Mind: Guys, I love you lots, but my weight just isn't something y'all can lecture me on :)

I was honestly trying not to burst out laughing! Gosh.

Mm, I haven't really noticed my body change much, apart from my collar bones being much more pronounced, and my ribs showing a lot more. My stomach might be slightly flatter, but my thigs still touch at the top. Oh my, progress is slow.

Well ima blog off, before my post bores you any more than it already has! But fear not, my incessant boredom will lead my back here indefinately :) Think thin ladies, and remember: Twigs Can Fly!

Hazel.